DEAR FUTURE ME.

Dear 28 year old me,

So you’ve finally turned into a woman ( well, as much as I like to see myself as a woman even now, I do still think of myself as a girl) and hopefully can also proudly call yourself a lady with class while being a girl at heart at the same time.

Hope you’ve worked on yourself and somewhat inculcated few of those traits and virtues that have always mesmerized you and those that you idolize most people for.

Hope you’ve solved your life’s puzzle at least now and have it sorted and don’t end up messing up stuff in the last moment like me.

Hope you’re still as adamant and stubborn about your beliefs on what is right and what is not and don’t just get influenced by the society or even the people in your life for that fact. Regarding this point, you’ve always been this way and trust me, don’t ever change this about yourself.

Hopefully, you still don’t let social media affect you. Always remember that it’s you who has a control over it and not the other way round.

Hopefully you had loads of fun through your college life, met few amazing souls and have had the craziest experiences that make you roll over laughing when you get reminded of them.

Hope you were successful at following your heart and trying out few things that you were really passionate about and achieved something in them and made yourself proud.

Hope you’ve travelled to a lot of places like you always planned to and still have a long way to go and a long list for a lot more places that you wish to visit. Never give up on this dream of yours ( haha, whom am I kidding, I know you won’t) .
Hope you’ve at least done few of those adventurous things that have been on your list for quite a while now, be it free fall or scuba diving or any other such thing and gone on few of the most incredible and bizarre amusement rides and have a plan ready for the rest.

Hopefully you’re still writing these blogs and have mastered writing them, using fancy words and creative themes unlike this plain boring me.

Dear 28 year old me, there’s a lot of stuff that you’ve faced and have been criticised for when there was no personal fault of yours and merely because of the practice in our society of tagging any person who is known in and around their area, mainly by the people you didn’t know existed, let alone ever talking to them ( but like always, just remember, if they have a mouth, they are going to have an opinion and they are going to talk but you don’t need to let that affect yourself) . There are a lot of hurdles you’ve passed and are yet to pass. There are many people whom you came across in this journey called life, few left you broken-hearted, few you let go for the sake of your own sanity, but hopefully you still have few people from now left.

I hope you know and remember that you’ve not always had a life filled with rainbows and unicorns. You’ve had your own shares of ups and downs. You’ve incurred loads of scars in the process, but you know what’s better? You succeeded at healing them and those are what make you beautiful and strong and more importantly, YOU.
Well, I do know that you’ve been way too strong for way too long and sometimes all you really want to do is give up and just let it all be but right at  that moment you need to remind yourself that you’re a fighter, always have been, so don’t you dare give up, no matter how tough life gets. At that moment, I want you to know that I fought and it’s because of that fight that you made it till today, so just go ahead and battle all those vicious demons and make it all worth it.

And last but not the least, I want you to promise me that you’ll never change for anyone or anything, regardless of the circumstances and situations you come across in your life and always stay THIS ME. The ME who doesn’t need anything or anybody to validate her, who’s comfortable in her own skin and finds solace and happiness in her own company. Who’s her own happy little pill. Who doesn’t judge anyone no matter what the scenario is or how they treat her, because she knows that everyone has a back story that makes them who they are and the person that they are is unique because of it. Who goes out of her way to help someone and never for once thinks about getting anything in return. Who’s more busy exploring her own complicated self rather than paying attention to others flaws, let alone bitching or gossiping about them. To always be this optimistic person, regardless of the unforeseen thunderstorms you face at any moment, like always.
I want you to promise me to never give up, because I never did. I want you to pass this on and write such a letter to your future self reminding her of your sometimes unrealistic goals ( but the ones you’ll still succeed in anyway, as you would know by now), because of how passionate you’re about achieving them and help her stay strong through it all and to never let the thought of giving up creep in, regardless of the hurdles. If not anything, let yourself grow through the shit you go through.
I hope you have turned into the kind of woman that your younger self (yeah, me) would idolize. And in the end I hope you achieve everything that I am planning and live a life worth living.

Dear 28 year old me, I hope you read this and remember today, the day I wrote it and smile to yourself thinking about how you were such an idiot and whisper ‘ I LOVE YOU ‘ to the 17 year old you.

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TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

When you took me for granted, did you not realise that I was, but a person who could eventually leave, leave without letting you know and never come back? In all those days trying to love the idea of you, I had neglected the need to be appreciated. And as I began to appreciate myself, I realized the futility of craving for anybody else.
Sometimes, just sometimes, you desire things you can’t have. And that’s what makes them all the more desirable.
When you leave someone who loves you and cares for you behind for your own reasons , with no fault of theirs and just because your own selfish or whatever purpose was fulfilled, you leave them with a hollow feeling that nothing seems large or good enough to fill the void you left in their life. You might go ahead and have an amazing life not caring about whom you’ve left behind, well, that works out amazingly for you, doesn’t it? I am not telling it is a bad thing to move ahead with your own life, but, does leaving someone broken behind you without a proper explanation justified? you might blame it all on them and leave them hanging on to the only thread of hope that you might just come back, but does it really let you sleep peacefully at night? I don’t know.  But, what I do know is that this is the thing about broken people, no matter how you treat them or what you’ve done to them in their past, if you or any other person ever needs them to be there – they will always find a way to mend others. And when it would be their turn to be healed, they will take a quiet walk back into the shadows, until you need them again. Because, they have a beautiful soul, which few morons fail to understand in the start and regret it later.
And, the most common reason for all of this, anger. It is funny, the things that anger makes us do. We hurt the people we took vows to protect and break promises that we could otherwise die to keep. But, that is how humans are, you see.
A little funny, a little insane, apologizing and yet repeating it again.

LOOKS AREN’T THE END OF THE WORLD.

Isn’t it ironic how we kill a flower because it’s beautiful and kill ourselves for the exact opposite reason? It’s just that, in recent times, I’ve come across a large number of articles where people go ahead and kill themselves just because they don’t look good enough. Like really?
That ain’t no solution. Why is it that you look for your beauty in the eyes of others?  You envy the cover girls, because you think they are perfect. But honey, even the cover girls don’t look like the cover girls in reality. Maybe few people do make their first impression about you solely based on your looks, but that doesn’t matter at all in the long run when they actually get to know the kind of person that you’re. Looks fade away, but, it’s your personality that’s eternal. If you really want to work on something, than rather work on that. I am not telling that maintaining your appearance isn’t a good thing, but, it’s definitely not the only thing you should give a damn about. Your body might not be fit to be a model’s, but who cares? one day, it’s going to turn to ashes, and that day what people will remember, is your soul. that. how beautiful it was. So, stop giving a shit when a few people reject you because of your cover.
I know I can’t do much at the moment except requesting you to not let your looks control your personality or your outlook on life. There’s so much more to life than something as mere as your appearance. Beauty is what you’re within. And, LIFE is a gift. Please don’t let it go just like that.
There are millions of people who want to live. But, so many of them wake up today not knowing that this is the last day that they get to see the rising or setting sun. Life is short and time is limited and you never know what is going to happen. So, live in this moment. Start enjoying every little thing, because when you look back, these are the big things in life.
Tell what you want to tell, do what you want to do and live how you want to live, because all you ever get is one chance. Don’t ever regret not doing something in life you had a chance at. There’s so much to live for. Please don’t ever let the thought of giving it up just life that ever come to your mind, and even if that sneaky little thought succeeds at crawling in, don’t ever let it conquer.
We all want to be loved and respected for who we are rather than what we look like. If you don’t love and appreciate yourself enough, then how do you expect someone else to? You’ll never be able to find yourself, if you’re lost in someone else.
So just be you, not the fictional character that you portray to be for the likes of the society, but the obnoxious, messy, real you. Because, you’re amazing just the way you’re and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

  CUT CAKES, NOT WRISTS! 

HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO.

Is it not a funny thing that we crave to know the end even before the beginning has begun? we creatures are strange, willing to cut the strings of a beautiful present for a future yet to unfold.
If there is anything I have learned from seeing people experience love, lust and a million different feelings that feel spectacularly similar, it is the fact that you cannot keep holding to something that wants to break free. Sometimes, you need to realize that some voids are better left empty. And some other times, love will come to you just when you are about to give up on it — in the form of a downpour to wash your pain away. But it is not always meant to stay. Sometimes, love is just meant to heal your scars. And leave, without a trace.
You know, I keep hearing this crap about letting go of the ones you love and how they would come back if they really loved you. It doesn’t really make sense to me because I’m one amongst the people who believe that if you love somebody, hold on and make an effort. Because love is no game that you stop playing and resume when you wish to. It takes a moment to fall but a lifetime to make it through.
The reason I believe in the other thing is that  when people come and go as and when they like or when they  walk all over you, your personality gets slightly altered and you are not exactly the same person you were before it happened and though you may not necessarily realise that when you’re stuck in your present moment of grief or maybe wouldn’t even want to believe me when I tell you that it does alter your personality, just because you like to think of yourself as someone who doesn’t get affected by others, trust me, it does. Everyone steals a part of you when they leave.  You lose parts of yourself trying to hold on to the people you once loved, and though you find ways to survive without them eventually, you change. You end up becoming a shadow of that past that you longed to bury.
But remember that it’s okay to not feel like there are only sunshine and rainbows in your life. There are going to be moments when nothing make sense anymore. You don’t have to mask your emotions, you don’t have to pretend to be a particular way, it’s okay to feel the way you do and instead of pushing those emotions aside, embrace them.  I’ve waited for things to fall into place for some time now and there’s not much to show for it. I do know that HOPE keeps you alive — I understand that. But, it certainly doesn’t get you a reason to smile.
So, till the time that you are not pretend-smiling but those pretty lips of yours actually curve themselves and give in to that mesmerizing smile of yours, just remember that you’re not obliged to feel any particular way or to put on a brave face. It’s okay if you’re hurting and are broken or even a mess, you’re still as beautiful in your unmasked nakedness as you could ever be. Know and always remember that it’s just a phase, and like everything else, even this will pass.

A LETTER TO EVERYONE I’VE EVER MET.

To everyone who has ever met me, Thank you. Thank you for inspiring me the way you did. You’ve made me the person I’m today. You may be thinking, how did you inspire me? when? Well, the truth is, even I don’t know when and how that happened, but you did motivate me sometime.Like the simplest of things, your shy smile, your contagious laugh, the way you talk or just the way you do things quite unaware of what you’re doing. I know it doesn’t make much sense to you, but I’m that kind of a person, these little things aren’t little to me.
I have always observed people and from what I can conclude I have never come across a person who is imperfect or a failure or not beautiful. It’s all those little imperfections that make you, YOU. Surely, everyone has scars from our past; some are visible, others not so much. It’s because you are a fighter that you have those scars , you know that? They can be your greatest strength if you allow them to.
I didn’t have an amazing relation with everyone I met and that’s quite normal. Some of us said goodbye and parted our ways whereas some of us never really bid goodbye; we just kind of ended. Even though you’re gone and I no longer talk to you, I will always remember you. I will always remember the memories you’ve gifted me. I promise to never look back upon a day as something that would make me sad or regret having you in my life. In the end I just hope that all of us make it and have a Lit life in the process.

TO EVERY GIRL OUT THERE.

I saw you hiding your face behind that sleazy Retrica filter last night intricately putting a veil of the skin tone that you wish you had. It’s only reasonable to look fair though – you need some attention and why would you not? You happen to be a girl and you need to put on everything you possibly can and adhere to the societal definition of beauty.
It was only a week ago – the dilemma of uploading a picture that would reveal more of your cleavage that would fetch you likes and comments about your apparent sexiness. It only makes sense to crave for compliments and hope that someone would fall for you – the kind of love that would make you feel like the princess you deserve to be treated as.

But, here is a moment of truth that you were certainly not waiting for. I wouldn’t lie to you any further and write narratives about the beauty of your soul, either. For, that might just sound all too other worldly to most people, including the ones that you long to please. Your face doesn’t resonate with the societal definition of beauty. And you do not have the hourglass figure that would make him go weak in his knees. An original picture of how you look will get you no followers on Instagram. It would however, make you as eccentric as your bio proclaims you are.

You talk blatantly about feminism and yet,  fall prey to the parameters that the society has set to keep you caged. It doesn’t help that you join in the discussion when it is time to judge another person for how they look, either. While it is certainly agreeable that feminism gives you the right to choose what you adorn over your body, you miss the point of self-individuality engraved in the same.

The feeling of being loved might give you the memories of a lifetime but only if the person you love is willing to love you when you’ve peeled off the layers of anonymity and enhancements, does he truly want you. And as much as it might hurt to read this, it may so happen that you may never come across somebody who would have you for who you truly are. But you do not need another person to tell you what you’re worth. What really matters is what you want to do. Popular opinions shall always vary but you are not obliged to reciprocate, care or even listen to them at the least.

FALLING.

And then one day, she taught me how easy it is to fall in love and sometimes, no matter how much you try, it is going to escape through your helplessness. You could blame it on fate or learn to live with the pain but that love would never again be as reckless as the one that left you scathing.
I have often heard people saying how nothing lasts forever – about the redundancy of everything that has materialized. Though it doesn’t make sense, sometimes, as an afterthought, I have realized that  some human emotions are rather necessary to keep the world up and running.
But, though they are absolutely necessary, why is it then that we are scared, scared of so many different things, one of them being – scared to fall. Be it the first time you began to walk or the the time you wanted to love but didn’t – the fear of that eventual fall is always on the back of our minds. But, sometimes all you need is to take a step forward and for all you know, the next moment, you might even have begun to fly. All you have to do is to give it a shot and believe in it.
The problem with us is that we let things go. We don’t do stuff just because of the nuances of the society. That is something which should never happen, because this life is yours and there’s no going back to the things you couldn’t or didn’t do when you had the chance to and when it comes to the society, well, people will always have a say about the things you take up. There are always going to be opinions; mostly equal to the number of people around you or even more if you are around a confused soul who cannot have a single opinion about something and some consequences may happen to go against the tide. But then, at the end of it all, none of it shall matter – NONE except the voice within.