TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

When you took me for granted, did you not realise that I was, but a person who could eventually leave, leave without letting you know and never come back? In all those days trying to love the idea of you, I had neglected the need to be appreciated. And as I began to appreciate myself, I realized the futility of craving for anybody else.
Sometimes, just sometimes, you desire things you can’t have. And that’s what makes them all the more desirable.
When you leave someone who loves you and cares for you behind for your own reasons , with no fault of theirs and just because your own selfish or whatever purpose was fulfilled, you leave them with a hollow feeling that nothing seems large or good enough to fill the void you left in their life. You might go ahead and have an amazing life not caring about whom you’ve left behind, well, that works out amazingly for you, doesn’t it? I am not telling it is a bad thing to move ahead with your own life, but, does leaving someone broken behind you without a proper explanation justified? you might blame it all on them and leave them hanging on to the only thread of hope that you might just come back, but does it really let you sleep peacefully at night? I don’t know. Ā But, what I do know is that this isĀ the thing about broken people, no matter how you treat them or what you’ve done to them in their past, if you or any other person ever needs them to be there – they will always find a way to mend others. And when it would be their turn to be healed, they will take a quiet walk back into the shadows, until you need them again. Because, they have a beautiful soul, which few morons fail to understandĀ in the start and regret it later.
And, the most common reason for all of this, anger. It is funny, the things that anger makes us do. We hurt the people we took vows to protect and break promises that we could otherwise die to keep. But, that is how humans are, you see.
A little funny, a little insane, apologizing and yet repeating it again.

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HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO.

Is it not a funny thing that we crave to know the end even before the beginning has begun? we creatures are strange, willing to cut the strings of a beautiful present for a future yet to unfold.
If there is anything I have learned from seeing people experience love, lust and a million different feelings that feel spectacularly similar, it is the fact that you cannot keep holding to something that wants to break free. Sometimes, you need to realize that some voids are better left empty. And some other times, love will come to you just when you are about to give up on it — in the form of a downpour to wash your pain away. But it is not always meant to stay. Sometimes, love is just meant to heal your scars. And leave, without a trace.
You know, I keep hearing this crap about letting go of the ones you love and how they would come back if they really loved you. It doesn’t really make sense to me because I’m one amongst the people who believe that if you love somebody, hold on and make an effort. Because love is no game that you stop playing and resume when you wish to. It takes a moment to fall but a lifetime to make it through.
The reason I believe in the other thing is that  when people come and go as and when they like or when they  walk all over you, your personality gets slightly altered and you are not exactly the same person you were before it happened and though you may not necessarily realise that when you’re stuck in your present moment of grief or maybe wouldn’t even want to believe me when I tell you that it does alter your personality, just because you like to think of yourself as someone who doesn’t get affected by others, trust me, it does. Everyone steals a part of you when they leave.  You lose parts of yourself trying to hold on to the people you once loved, and though you find ways to survive without them eventually, you change. You end up becoming a shadow of that past that you longed to bury.
But remember that it’s okay to not feel like there are only sunshine and rainbows in your life. There are going to be moments when nothing make sense anymore. You don’t have to mask your emotions, you don’t have to pretend to be a particular way, it’s okay to feel the way you do and instead of pushing those emotions aside, embrace them.  I’ve waited for things to fall into place for some time now and there’s not much to show for it. I do know that HOPE keeps you alive — I understand that. But, it certainly doesn’t get you a reason to smile.
So, till the time that you are not pretend-smiling but those pretty lips of yours actually curve themselves and give in to that mesmerizing smile of yours, just remember that you’re not obliged to feel any particular way or to put on a brave face. It’s okay if you’re hurting and are broken or even a mess, you’re still as beautiful in your unmasked nakedness as you could ever be. Know and always remember that it’s just a phase, and like everything else, even this will pass.